Bravs Celebrity Post

We think we have hit upon the absolute dictionary definition of Too Much Information: Tori Spelling loves porn.

We already knew of Tori’s fondness for gravity-defying suspended sacks of silicone (exhibit A), but we weren’t aware that she enjoys them on other people. According to Page Six:

Tori Spelling admits she and her husband watch hardcore porn - but she doesn’t want you to know which titles. When the blond star told Giant magazine she and Dean McDermott use SugarDVD.com. to rent adult movies, the company’s CEO, Jax Smith, called Page Six to say how proud he was of the celebrity endorsement and promised us a list of what she’s watched. But when he called Tori’s reps for the OK, “they weren’t pleased - they told me not to.” Still, Smith has no hard feelings: “We’re going to give her free porn for life.”
Ya hear that, Candy Spelling? Tori doesn’t need you or your $500 million. She’s got free porn. For the rest of her life. Sure, she may have to live in a hovel feasting on Kraft Dinner and Top Ramen, but she will be sexually satisfied. And now that we have mentioned nutritious foodstuffs and Tori Spelling’s lady business in the same sentence, we think it may be time to bite into that cyanide capsule we’ve been hiding under our tongue.

See Tori and other Celebrity pics here

Have you seen The Letter? You know, The Letter in which a man who pays the bills called Lindsay Lohan “discourteous, irresponsible and unprofessional”? No? Take a moment out of your busy morning of sneaking to the bathroom for a speedball and booking your boss’s afternoon hooker quickie to peruse The Letter. There. Now wasn’t that fun? Apparently Dina Lohan didn’t think so. That hag’s no fun.

Lindsay was too busy this weekend hanging out in Vegas sporting a bikini to pay any mind to her reprimanding, so she got her mommy to do it for her. She told Access Hollywood:

I feel when you are 19 it is way out of line… Maybe he has personal issues with whomever and it came out with my child. I don’t know him. I can’t judge him. I don’t think it was a smart thing to do to a young girl.

Lindsay was in 105 (degree weather) saying, “Mommy, I feel sick; like I am going to faint.” She took herself to the hospital. She has asthma and in extreme cold or heat you can’t breathe.

I’m a mother and will do what I need to do to protect my child…I don’t feel it should be aired out and everyone should know. It’s personal.

Lindsay gets to work late, OK… She’s a human being. There was one day when she was late and they worked the schedule around her. Garry (Marshall, the film’s director), Jane (Fonda, her co-star), everybody loves her.

As far as Lindsay’s health is concerned, she’s fine and she is back on set…. She will win an Academy Award for this picture… Justice!
As concerned as Dina seems to be about her child, you’d think that she would have noticed that Lindsay turned twenty a couple weeks ago. And if Dina thinks Lindsay is a shoo-in for an Oscar, she better watch her back. That little Dakota Fanning doesn’t let a little thing like childhood get in her way. When’s the last time Lindsay stepped up to the plate and did a rape scene? A little faux beej just isn’t gonna cut it come Oscar time.

See all of Lohan and her skin and bones here

I want to invite you all to check out my newest blog: Lets Blog About Sex. Check it out, post your comments make requests. This blog is all about sex so come participate and check out everything I have to offer.

If you want even more Free Celebrity Porn you could also check out my massive free porn site called Bravs Free Porn.

For more celebrity movies check out my movie gallery post XXXMovies-4Free.

Paz Vega

Real Name: Paz Campos Trigo

Date of birth: 01/02/1976

Place of birth: Sevilla, Spain

Bio: Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar’s Talk to Her (2002) included a suddenly skinteresting black-and-white silent film within the film that featured a giant, sleeping, naked woman. Arthouse habitués left the theater wondering, “Who was that slumbering seductress? How can I see more of her, when she is awake and moving around and still naked?” The giant object of brunette desire is named Paz Vega. She… read more

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We have never hidden the fact that we do not share Maxim’s desire for Eva Longoria’s bikini-clad body to be visible from space. While we love things like nudity and bikinis and vibrators and sexy talk, there can be too much of a good thing. You’ve oversaturated the market, Eva. We don’t need to see you in any more bikinis; we don’t need to know how many vibrators you own and what variety does a better bedroom job than your sexually stunted near-virgin boyfriend. So if you get your wish of fewer naked Desperate Housewives bubble baths, we won’t cry or anything.

Eva “Get your eyes off my boobs and check out these acting skills” Longoria needs a bit of a professional challenge. The endless days of getting caught with the gardener in her underwear, soaking in the tub, and otherwise embodying the word “sexpot” are getting to the little minx. She said:

I didn’t realize how much lingerie I’d be in and how much time I’d spend in the bathtub. I actually had to go to the director and go, “Can you please stop putting me in the bathtub?” It’s a pain in the butt to shoot. You’re naked and they just fill it up with bubbles and basically they put body make-up on you so you look beautifully tanned with flawless skin and then it just comes off in the water so you’re sitting in this brown water all day. There have been times when they do all the tub scenes in one day, so I go out and in comes Ricardo Chavira, then in comes Jesse Metcalfe. I’m like “Guys, can we space out the tub scenes?”
She continued, “But seriously, guys, you wouldn’t do this to Felicity. It’s sooo not fair. Now bring me a vibrator.” Or, you know, something like that.

Eva not so clean at Mr Skin

The last time Lindsay Lohan landed in the hospital–for a severe asthma attack–she got a tattoo memorializing the event: the word “breathe” on her wrist. After taking another trip to the ER the other day, Lindsay went and got another tattoo. Much like the leggings scourge she’s unleashed upon the world, post-illness tattoo commemoration will certainly become the hot new thing with the kids, and post-adolescent girls around the country will eschew getting Grateful Bears and happy face suns on their lower backs after sixteen Jello shots in Cabo over spring break, and instead opt for a frowning nautical star or an uncharacteristically somber dolphin following a night of getting their stomachs pumped after said Jello shots.

Lindsay and Kate Moss became fast friends after they met a few months ago, going out to dinner, sharing clothes, sharing men, sharing strippers, probably sharing nefarious party favors. Now Lindsay’s aped Kate’s steez yet again–getting a tattoo of a heart (bet that image took a lot of careful consideration) on her hand with her new love, Harry “Pink Taco” Morton. Kate Moss also has a tattoo of a heart on her hand, AND she once got inked with a gentleman caller after only dating him a short while. Reports MollyGood, via Page Six:

The superstarlet got a tiny white heart between her thumb and index finger on her left hand during a 3 a.m. visit to a West Hollywood tattoo parlor last week. Lohan was accompanied by main squeeze Harry Morton, who got a cross tattoo on an unspecified part of his anatomy, and L.A. nightlife priestess Amanda Scheer-Demme during the late-night stop at Mark Mahoney’s Shamrock Social Club, a staffer there told us.

Lohan’s Single White Female-ing of Kate Moss is nearly complete. All she has left to do is cut her hair and dye it Mossian blonde, move into her glamorous loft, and then put a stiletto heel through Pete Doherty’s eye after administering a bj.

Lindsey is showing off right here

The Late Show with David Letterman has become everyone’s go-to show for breaking heavy news. First Britney chose the show to squeal about her second Federfetus implantation, now Paris and Nicole are rumored to be set to make nice. Perhaps it is the friendly, nonjudgmental gap between Letterman’s teeth that makes stars feel so comfortable baring their innermost thoughts, or maybe it’s just the lingering specter of circa ‘95 Drew Barrymore flashing her breasts that makes them feel so free.

According to imdb.com, it was Letterman himself who offered to “play peacekeeper” inviting both Simple Life stars to his show to publicly reconcile. Although the wily imdb does not state whether or not the pair has actually accepted the offer, the proposal is supposed to tape in September, which gives both the stars plenty of time to actually become secret pals on the DL, and rehearse the grand reconciliation scene to perfection. As much as we love a good catfight, it will be a refreshing change of pace to see these two spidery weirdos kiss and make up. Maybe not kiss, though. With all that gloss, their lips would just slide right off each other’s faces like a couple of shimmery rose slugs.

Naked Paris and Naughty Ms Richie right here

Scarlett Johansson is just a regular bloke like the rest of us. She goes to strip clubs and gets lap dances. But unlike the rest of us she doesn’t have to go home and sob into her Santa Bear that she was so close to such beautiful breasts and couldn’t touch them. She gets to touch her own beautiful breasts. She really does have it all.

Scarlett spilled the beans (or the cans, as it were) about how she spent her 21st birthday to David Letterman on Wednesday.

When I was 20 we went to Disneyland, but this year my brother wanted to go to a strip club, so we went there.
Scarlett reluctantly accepted a lap dance someone ordered for her, but she found the experience awkward.
I never know what to say, so I ask questions like, ‘Are you in school?’ [or] ‘Is Candy your real name?’

I had this very tall girl … she was Amazonian. She was, like, this tall really, really skinny girl. She was quite manic and strange.

So she’s kind of gyrating into me [but] she was so thin that her pelvic or hip bone or some kind of bone bruised me. It was horrible!
We’re just going to let that sink in a bit . . . Scarlett Johansson was bruised by a bone. A hard, pointy bone. We’ll just slink out now and give you a little privacy.

Oh, you want to hear Scarlett tell the story herself? You can do so here.

Check out sexy pics of Scarlett right here

Christina Applegate

Place of birth: Hollywood, California, USA

Date of birth: 11/25/1971

Christina Applegate broke into the business as a baby in diapers, selling product on TV commercials. Then she landed in the Jaws of Satan (1981), which isn’t a fanciful way of referencing Hollywood, really, but rather her film debut at the age of ten. Then it was back to TV and various appearances on series Join Now and read more…

Find more of Christina Applegate and other nude celebirty pics here

We’re happy that Elisha Cuthbert is riding high from . . . what? Starring opposite Paris Hilton in House of Wax? Managing to not get killed on another season of 24? We really don’t know what she has to be so proud of. Other than her breasts. Because they’re pretty damn awesome. But girl’s keeping them to herself. And she’s gonna keep on telling us about it. That is until the day that she can’t even land a cameo in a Tara Reid vehicle and decides to finally take off her clothes for some cash. Then she’ll tell us she never said she wouldn’t get naked. And you know what? We’ll be able to read this here story and feel pretty good about ourselves. Not as good as seeing her boobs will make us feel, but still.

We’re not sure if the following quote was prompted by a magazine interviewer asking Elisha her thoughts on the state of her clothing or if she just walked up to some guy on the street and started telling him about her virtuous nature and whatnot, but her you have it.

I wouldn’t cancel out a nude scene but, right now, with my life and my career, I don’t feel the need to do that. I don’t feel it’s necessary. I’ve been doing fine finding roles that don’t need to have full-frontal nudity in them. There have been points where we’ve had to use body doubles, and, obviously, as I get older, the roles get more mature. I never shy away from saying, “OK guys, we can do this; let’s just use a double.” I feel I give a lot to the public and there’s a few things in my life right now that I’d like to keep to myself - my breasts being one of them.
Gee, we think maybe we’ve heard that somewhere before. It looks to us that the lady doth protest too much. The amount of time an actress spends talking about not taking her clothes off is an inverse proportion to her career longevity. So by about age thirty Elisha will be distant memory, like pet rocks, and she’ll be begging to play Topless Girl or Naked Stripper in the next Dakota Fanning softcore rape-and-bondage flick.

You can find nude pics of other celebrities here

There may be some truth to Eva Longoria’s admission that her man-candy, San Antonio Spur Tony Parker, is woefully inexperienced when it comes to romantic/erotic matters, as he became wildly jealous when his girlfriend hopped into the ocean and began cuddling with dolphins. You may think this sounds like the action of a desperate, insecure man; we think it’s the action of a smart man. If Jessica Alba has taught us anything, it’s that dolphins are poonthirsty perverts by nature and will stop at nothing to grab a heavenly piece of woman-cake.

Eva and Tony were recently vacationing in Mexico (wait–weren’t they busy crashing Nicole Kidman’s honeymoon in Tahiti just the other week?) when Eva hopped into the water to fulfill every teenage girl’s dream of swimming with dolphins. She appeared to be having such a blast with the creatures that Tony hopped in to get a piece of the action. The (n)ever-reliable News of the World said that

I think her boyfriend got jealous with the dolphin so he jumped in to get a kiss off Eva.

And an onlooker reported,

She loved the dolphin. She was shrieking at first when she touched it but within minutes she was laughing.

Ah, the mark of a dolphin virgin. At first, the girls always shriek when faced with their slick, hard, ever-probing bottlenoses, then they give in to the incessant, scary-yet-oddly-stimulating blunt thrusting.

See Eva naked and naughty at Mr Skin

Rose McGowan

Place of birth: Florence, Italy

Date of birth: 09/05/1973

This Italian import with the Irish name has been making teens (of all ages) horny as hell ever since her bare double-Ds debuted in The Doom Generation (1995). Rose’s terrifically too-tight turtleneck provided her with a landmark pokie-nipped performance in Scream (1995), which she followed by freeing her mega milkers again in Going All the Join Now and read more…

Find more of Rose McGowans pics and movies here

Nicole Richie is the runt of the spindly-legged, razor-sharp collar-boned Hollywood kitten litter. Try as they might, Mischa Barton, Keira Knightley, even Kate Bosworth can’t push the scale numbers low enough to compete with Richie. But being the tiniest little kitten has it’s disadvantages. Nicole is banished to the corners of the towel-lined cardboard box (otherwise known as the clearance rack at Kitson) while her stronger kitty brethren suckle at Mummy’s teats (obvs, Koi). Nicole peers sadly behind her under-fed, saucer-like eyes (bug-eyed Dior sunglasses) struggling to just stay conscious. And sometimes poor Nicole loses that struggle.

Nicole was attempting to spend a hefty chunk of her Simple Life dollars recently (do they have a Gap Kids on Robertson Blvd.?) when she reportedly fainted. An “eyewitness” told Life & Style:

She was looking through a rack of clothes when she suddenly fainted and hit the floor. The staff helped her to a chair and offered her something to eat. She shot back, “No!” and mumbled something about it being “so hot.”
We think we’ve hit upon the failure of Mischa et al. to keep up with Nicole in losing so much weight that even their internal organs look emaciated. If Keira had been the one who fainted in a shop, when that $300 fruit and cheese plate was offered, out of bodily weakness she would have caved and swallowed an entire green grape before saying, “Thanks, I’m full now. Let’s go to Harrods.” Will you never learn, Keira? What’s the use to possessing the newest Balenciaga bag if you can’t curl up your entire body and stuff it inside?

Check Out Nicole Richie At Mr Skin

Phoebe Cates

Place of birth: Manhattan, New York, USA

Date of birth: 07/16/1963

Eyes brimming with dark mischief; a smirking and smiling pair of chew-toy lips; a fetching brunette shag; slim, contoured legs; tiny, trim chair cheeks; a pair of perky delights up top–erotic imp Phoebe Cates reigns as one of the sexiest young creatures ever to disrobe onscreen in the early 1980s. The runaway success and lasting Join Now and read more…

Click Here For More Nude Pics Of Phoebe Cates

Red alert! Lindsay Lohan has been hacked! And we don’t mean she porked Brett Ratner again.

Remember those glorious days of late February 2005, when the coveted phone numbers of Nick Carter and Victoria Gotti could be found by anyone with basic Google skills? When Paris Hilton’s personal thoughts and topless lesbian pictures could be seen by all? Apparently Paris’s pain over her invasion of privacy wasn’t too acute, as she may be behind a similar breach of Lindsay Lohan’s personal electronic brain. Page Six reports:

This week, according to Lohan’s rep, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, someone stole the password to her BlackBerry and sent her friends “disgusting and very mean messages that everyone thought were coming from Lindsay. They weren’t. We now have her lawyers looking into it. Some people think Paris may have been involved because the wording of the messages sounds very familiar.” . . . Not surprisingly, Hilton’s rep, Elliot Mintz, denies she has anything to do with Lohan’s BlackBerry and adds: “I’m saddened this happened to Lindsay. I lived through this with Paris two years ago when her Sidekick was hacked into, and the loss of privacy is unbearable. But as for any suggestion that Paris would have anything to do with this, that is silly, untrue and unfortunate.”
We’re wondering exactly what is meant by “the wording of the messages sounds very familiar.” Did Paris send a message to Wilmer Valderrama saying, “I’m going to come see your mariachi band tonight. Then I’ll let you see my firecrotch. You can see that I have freckles coming out of my vagina and that my clitoris is seven feet long”? Or did she simply forget that she was trying to be malicious and end every message with “That’s hot! XOXO, Paris”?

See Lindsay Lohans firecrotch bare and ready here

According to imdb.com, Hurricane Naomi Campbell has struck yet again, causing a staggering $54,000 worth of damage to her boyfriend’s yacht after she had one of her patented conniption hemmorages. We don’t know how to tell you this, but . . . kids, we think it’s time we put Naomi Campbell down. We know, sweeties, we know, you love your Naomi Campbell and you’ve had a lot of good times with her. She’s been a loyal companion, waiting for you to get off the bus after school, sleeping at the foot of your beds, chasing her Kong around backstage at Yves Saint Laurent. But sweeties, Naomi Campbell hasn’t been right for a very long time, and remember when that nice policeman came to our door the other day? Well, it’s just best Naomi Campbell go to sleep for a very, very long time so she can’t hurt herself or anybody in the community again.

There are a jawdropping THREE lawsuits pending against the supermodel, alleging that she beat former employees with various handheld communication devices. In spite of this, Naomi was overtaken by a wave of rage on her boyfriend Badr Jafar’s luxury yacht recently. Apparently, the private chef aboard presented her with a “tomato, mozzarella and dried ham starter with white wine” which was not up to the model’s standards. She lost her temper (how can you lose something you don’t appear to own in the first place?) and, when the chef, ballsy m.f. that he is, deigned to actually yell back at Campbell, she began foaming at the mouth and cursing and throwing items around, the damage totalling more than your yearly salary. An “onlooker” snitched to The Sun:

All hell seemed to break loose. All you could hear was shouting and screaming in English. There was the sound of plates being broken. Some of the crew later said the kitchen was a complete mess and the curtains and cushions had all been ripped apart.

When one is facing three potentially wallet-annihilating suits, the best way to celebrate would not be trashing a loved one’s private yacht, but what do we know? We only have a woeful two lawsuits against us pending, and our significant other only owns a little dinghy.

Check out the sexy Naomi Campbell here

You know that picture you have hanging next to your bed of Keira Knightley, the one that you drew all over with a red Sharpie, giving her Pam Anderson-sized boobs and a penis protruding out of her forehead like a unicorn horn? Well, carry on, our perverted brethren, because Keira doesn’t care how people manipulate her photographs. But may we suggest that in your next draft you lower the penis slightly and render her eyes into a pair of balls? We think it would make a more poignant artistic statement.

It’s well documented that Keira Knightley has less chest flesh than our eight-year-old cousin (Not that we’ve been looking at our eight-year-old cousin. Gawd! What kind of perv do you take us for?), and it’s also well documented that she doesn’t give a fuck about much of anything. So if magazine editors want to enhance her two aspirins on an ironing board, she’s fucking cool with that. Fuck. She said:

I don’t have any tits, so I can’t show cleavage. But you’re not actually allowed to be on a magazine cover in the US without at least a C cup because it turns people off.

Apparently they have done market research and found that women want to see no less than a C cup on other women. Isn’t that crazy? So they make my tits bigger.
(The Brit prudes at Life Style Extra–whatever that is–attempted to shield your delicate little minds from that offensive words “tits,” lest you need to make haste for the fainting couch, but we thought you could handle it and took away those little asterisks.) And in regards to her funbags being fluffed for the movie posters for King Arthur, she said:
Those things certainly weren’t mine. I remember we had an interesting discussion when they said, ‘We want to make them slightly larger and you’ll get approval’, and I was like. ‘Okay, fine. I honestly don’t give a shit’.
But this is Keira Knightley we’re talking about, so we’re guessing the quote actually went a little something like this: “Do whatever you fucking want, fucking dick lickers. Make my god damned tits the size of mother fucking basketballs and draw a shit-covered cunt on my mouth. I honestly don’t give a shit.”

Check out Keiras bare boobs right here